


The One Where Buck Tells Eddie

by shutupheather



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Maddie Buckley is a Good Sister, Not Actually Unrequited Love, accidental love confession, mentioned ana flores
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupheather/pseuds/shutupheather
Summary: “Because I love you!” he shouted angrily.Shit.ORBuck accidentally confesses his feelings, but how does Eddie feel...
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 405





	1. I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading :) 
> 
> Next chapter is already almost finished so stay tuned...
> 
> Comments/Kudos are always appreciated ❤️❤️

~Buck POV~

“So you’re telling me, two of the _finer_ members of LA’s finest, are single? _Willingly_ single?” Chimney began. 

“Yeah, what’s up with that? Girls are always throwing their numbers at you… what gives?” Hen added. 

Buck wanted to tell them that he actually was interested in someone. A _very_ special someone. As a matter of fact, the certain someone was seated directly to his left. And maybe it was his imagination, but he couldn’t help but feel that there was a slight chance that Eddie might feel the same way. They were constantly together, practically co-parenting Christopher, and not to mention the sweatshirts they nonchalantly traded and shared.

Buck couldn’t bring himself to say that right now, so he settled with, “I don’t know, I guess I’m just not looking to date right now. I need to focus on myself before I start something new.”

Hen laid a hand on top of Buck’s from across the table, “Aw, Buckaroo. And I’m sure whoever you end up with will welcome- What is it now? Buck 3.0? 4.0?- with open arms.”

Buck snatched his hand back. “Ha. Ha. Very funny, Henrietta,” he said with feigned offence. Chim and Eddie chuckling at the interaction. 

Chim faced Eddie, “Alright, and what’s your excuse?”

Buck looked towards Eddie, eager to hear his response. If his suspicions are correct, he should make something up like Buck just had. He wasn’t prepared for the response that came out of his best friend’s mouth.

“Well, actually…” he started, looking down at his hands. 

Everyone leaned in. It sounded like he was about to make a confession and no one wanted to miss it. _Especially_ Buck.

“A teacher from Chris’s school keeps asking to go out, so I thought…”

Buck’s heart dropped out of his chest. It laid on the concrete floor, flopping like a fish out of water. It felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt like his lungs were playing a sick joke on him, refusing to inflate. His eyes must have been in on the prank, because all he could do was stare. Stare at the man, whom he secretly loved, talk about how he planned to go on a date with someone who wasn’t him. 

Hen and Chim chattered along excitedly, but Buck’s brain remained fuzzy. He couldn’t make out the words anyone was saying. All he knew was he couldn’t stay in this spot any longer. The discomfort was poking and prodding at him like knives on his skin.

He muttered something about using the restroom and fled the scene. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Maybe he was being dramatic. Maybe he was a fool for ever thinking anything more could stem from between him and Eddie. Maybe he just wasn’t meant to have the picture perfect romance he always dreamed of. Maybe he just needed to focus on his job for today. 

-

And that’s just what he did. 

Buck worked tirelessly for the rest of the shift. The more he worked meant the less down time he would have. Which meant the less time he had to spend with Eddie, talking about god knows what. He didn’t need that right now. What he needed was to finish the paperwork he was meant to finish about a week ago. That would keep him busy for another hour or so until the shift ended. And then he could go back to the peace and quiet of his apartment, eat ice cream, and wallow in self pity.

The hour passed with no qualms. He completed everything and was ready to go home. He changed into his regular clothes and assumed he was the last to leave for the night, as he was alone in the locker room. That assumption was squashed when a familiar face strutted in. 

“Hey man,” Eddie said with an ease. “I feel like I barely saw you at all today. You wanna grab a bite to eat or something?”

Was he being serious? Of course he was, how could he possibly know about the war waging in Buck’s head about his secretly harbored affection. It still stung Buck’s heart. The same heart still lying on the cold floor. The man that he wanted to be with, who didn’t even feel the same way, basically just asked him on a date. Buck couldn’t handle it anymore. 

“Why don’t you go out with that teacher you like so much,” he huffed, annoyance taking over his body as he stuffed his belongings in his locker. 

“Woah… are you mad about that?” Eddie said, trying to scan Buck’s face for anything that might explain something. “Is… Is that why you were pretty much avoiding me today? Because I was thinking of asking out Ana?”

God this man knew him too well. Buck just grew angrier at that. All the signs pointed to how they should be together and yet Eddie remained the one thing Buck couldn’t have. 

“So what if it was,” Buck barked out. He was practically vibrating with emotion. He needed to leave before he said something he regretted. 

Eddie positioned himself to where he was somewhat blocking the entrance. “Are you kidding me? Why can’t you just be happy for me for finally trying to move on from Shannon! Wh-”

“Because I love you!” he shouted angrily. 

_Shit_.

Eddie looked like a deer in the headlights. His mouth opened and closed several times, like he wanted so desperately to say something, but his brain went off the air. 

“...W-what…” was all the man before him managed out. 

Buck was honestly just as surprised as Eddie at the statement he just blurted out. This was now a deciding moment in Buck’s life. He could either double down and confess his love, or just pretend he said something else and try to brush it off. The latter would make things easier… but Buck was never one to stray away from a challenge. _Here goes nothing._

“I _am_ happy that you’re moving on...I just,” Buck said, taking a deep, shaky breath before saying this next part. “I just wish it were with me.”

The two men stared at each other. It was like they were in a life-size game of chess and Buck just called checkmate. As they stood there, frozen in time, Buck searched Eddie’s face for any sign of… well, anything. He looked for affection, disgust, and just about everything in between. What he found was something he couldn’t quite place. It was almost like a twisted concoction of hope, fear, and ache all in one. It didn’t make any sense to Buck.

“I-I have to go,” Eddie muttered, quickly grabbing his bag and making a break for the exit. 

All Buck could do was stand there. He felt tears prick in the corners of his eyes. He felt stupid. He felt confused. He felt hurt. How did he think this would end? How could he be so naive as to think that maybe everything would work out? How could he think that he would get his fairytale ending?

As he slowly made his way to the doorway of the locker room, he noticed something. His heart, that tumbled out of his body this morning and had been expiring ever since, was here now. Except it wasn't just sitting there, clinging to life. Smeared across the cement floor, sporting a familiar boot imprint across the width of it, was Buck’s heart. Or what was left of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr!:
> 
> @118hasmyback


	2. I Love You Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck took a deep breath, taking off the chain to open the door further, “Why are you here? It’s like-”
> 
> “One AM, I know..."
> 
> OR
> 
> Eddie tells Buck how he feels...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response on the last chapter! Hope I didn't make you wait too long for this one ;)
> 
> As always, kudos/comments are appreciated ❤️❤️
> 
> Thank you for reading!!

~Buck POV~

He was avoiding him. Buck expected this, but it still hurt. Having your best friend, whom you work with, completely ignore you because the night before you accidentally confessed your love for him,  _ to his face _ , isn’t exactly something you can prepare yourself for. 

The rest of the team could feel it. They of course didn’t know the extent of the drama between the two men, but they could sense the tension. Buck and Eddie were usually joined at the hip, yet today Eddie couldn’t even bring himself to be in the same room as Buck. Sure they still worked seamlessly together on calls, but when they got back to the station? Radio silence. 

“What’s with you two?” someone finally asked after Eddie slunked off to the bunk room after the team’s lunch.

Buck lifted his head to meet the worried gazes of none other than Chimney and Hen. He didn’t want to talk about anything concerning last night so he just offered them a shrug in response. 

That didn’t cut it.

“What do you mean by,” Hen said, followed by a dramatic mocking of Buck’s shrug. 

“I  _ mean _ , I don’t know. Okay?” Buck said exasperatedly.

“ _ Fine _ , you don’t have to talk to  _ us _ about it,” Chimney scoffed. “But just so you know, I will be sicking Maddie on you to make sure everything is okay. You look sad Buckaroo and we don’t like it… it’s  _ weird _ .”

“Oh my god,” Buck grumbled, scrubbing a hand across his face. “Don’t.”

-

They did. 

As soon as Buck got off shift, he was greeted with a smiling Maddie standing outside of the station. 

“What are you doing here?” Buck asked, the energy noticeably vacant from his voice. 

“I had Josh drop me off after work. Thought you could drive us back to my place. We could eat cheap takeout and talk. You know, have some Buckley bonding time,” she said cheerfully. “Oh and… we’re doing this. No excuses.” And with that she turned with a flip of her hair and started making her way to Buck’s jeep. 

_ This is going to be a long night _ , Buck thought. And boy was he right. 

-

“So let me get this straight… You developed feelings for Eddie, told him about them, and then he just-”

“Left. He just  _ left, _ ” Buck finished Maddie’s sentence, his tone dripping with annoyance. “And you know what the best part is? He won’t even  _ look _ at me at the station. He pretends that I’m not even there.”

“Oh, Buck,” Maddie whispered, laying a reassuring hand on his knee that silently urged him to get everything off of his chest.

“I just wish he was honest with me you know? … I don’t want another repeat of Abby,” Buck began, tears finally breaking the surface. “She left with  _ zero _ explanations for where we stood in our relationship. I wish Eddie could at least give me…  _ something _ . Are we still friends? Is he completely disgusted by me? ...What did I do?” That last part coming out at barely a whisper, as if it was a silent question to the universe. 

How did he go from professing his love to his best friend the night before to sobbing on his sister’s couch. He let everything out, while Maddie listened. He cried, yelled, rambled, and everything in between. It was oddly therapeutic. The weight was still present on his shoulders, but it felt lessened. It wasn’t such a burden now. It was manageable. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was time to move on. 

Buck and Maddie laid, comforting each other for another hour or so. When Buck finally looked up again, the clock read that it was almost 10pm. 

“Alright… I should get going,” Buck said, rising to his feet. 

“Do you have a shift tomorrow?” Maddie asked, but Buck knew she meant it as  _ Do you have a shift with  _ _ Eddie _ _ tomorrow? _

“Yep… Wish me luck.”

And with that Buck drove back to his apartment. He was sure that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. There were too many thoughts still swirling in his head. The rest of his evening would most likely consist of him eating ice cream while some random tv show hums in the background.

-

It was nearing one o’clock in the morning and Buck has yet to see the insides of his eyelids. Sleep was a fickle mistress that refused to show her face tonight. So there he was. Clad in his rattiest sweats, a tub of Rocky Road - very fitting - ice cream open on his stomach, laying on his couch, watching old episodes of  _ Friends. _

Of course, it just had to be the episodes where Joey figures out that he’s falling in love with one of his best friends, Rachel. When they realize it won’t work out between them, they still remain friends. This just rubs salt in Buck’s wounded heart. Just as he was about to launch into another lament and crying fit, there was a knock at his door.

_ Who the hell could be here at this hour _ , Buck thought skeptically. He grabbed his baseball bat near the door as he looked through the peephole. Whoever it was, hopefully not a murderer -it’s LA you never know- , had their back turned to the door. 

Buck opened the door a crack, the door chain keeping it at a fixed distance, baseball bat still in hand, “What do you want?” 

The man turned around and Buck let the bat clatter to the ground.

_ Eddie. _

Buck took a deep breath, taking off the chain to open the door further, “Why are you here? It’s like-”

“One AM, I know. Chris is at a sleepover and I-I couldn’t sleep. I needed to talk to you,” Eddie muttered, his eyes rimmed with red.  _ Was he crying? _

“About what? You avoided me all day at work, you didn’t even send me a tex-”

“I love you too,” Eddie interrupted Buck’s rambling. He gained more confidence in his voice.

All Buck could do was stare. This was what he wanted, but surely it wasn’t true.

“Eddie… if this is some sort of sick joke. It’s not fun-”

Buck was cut-off once more, but this time by a pair of lips crashing onto his. As fast as they met, they were apart. Eddie pulled back, his hand lingering on Buck’s face. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but I didn’t know how else to prove to you that I meant it. I  _ love _ you Evan Buckley.”

Buck told himself he would be strong and hold his ground the next time he saw Eddie. But the feeling of their lips connecting wasn’t something he could just bypass. So he pulled Eddie inside. He closed the door and pushed him against it slightly. Their mouths melted into one another.

Something in the back of Buck’s mind told him that Eddie was going to get spooked and pull away. Those thoughts were thwarted when he felt Eddie’s fingers grip into Buck’s hips. Buck’s tongue slipped past Eddie’s lips and he could feel the moan rise from his throat. One of Eddie’s hands trailed up Buck’s back and nestled itself in the curls at the base of his neck. Buck had one hand around Eddie’s waist, the other found its way underneath his shirt and memorized the muscles of Eddie’s warm abdomen. 

Suddenly, Buck could feel himself being pushed backwards. Eddie was making the initiative to move their makeout session to the couch. It was probably a wise decision because if they kept kissing like  _ that, _ Buck’s knees would give away soon. 

Buck was now lying horizontally on the sofa, just as he was a few moments ago. Except now, instead of a tub of ice cream on top of him, there was a man, whom he loved, straddling his hips. Eddie moved his focus from Buck’s lips to his neck, sucking a mark into the skin near his collarbone. Buck was sinking into this feeling, about to forget everything from the past week… but something inside of him said that he couldn’t. He couldn’t forget the heartache.

He moved Eddie back and pulled himself out of his grasp. He needed things to be one hundred percent clear between them before they went any further. The swollen lips and glowing amber eyes in front of him made it hard for his train of thought to stay on track. How easy it would be to just lean back in and- no. He owed himself clarity. 

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” Eddie asked, genuine concern laced his features as he awkwardly tried to smooth out his shirt.

“No! No it’s not that… It’s just…” Buck started, not exactly knowing how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I thought you said you were going to ask out that teacher or whatever… What changed?”

“Buck,” Eddie sighed. “I only said that to get Hen and Chim off my back.” He shifted to where he sat properly on the couch, his hands on his knees, almost like he was bracing himself for what he was about to say next. 

“I actually wanted to ask  _ you _ out but… you said you needed to focus on yourself and-and I didn’t want to stand in the way of that. I didn’t want to hold you back or be the reason you couldn’t be who you wanted to be… In a way, yes, I  _ was _ using the idea of Ana as a way to move on… but it was to move on from  _ you _ .”

The weight from Buck’s shoulders was finally gone. Everything clicked into place and made sense now. Why Eddie was so quick to suggest dating that woman, why he was avoiding him, why he lingered just a little when Buck first said he loved him. 

“Eddie,” Buck said, taking his hand in his own. “That was just some bullshit I came up with on the spot,” he lightly chuckled. “I don’t need to  _ find myself _ or  _ work on me _ … I know who I am, Eds. And I  _ know _ for a fact, that I’m a better person when I’m with  _ you _ .”

Eddie cupped Buck’s face with his free hand, stroking his thumb against his birthmark. They looked at each other with matching, teary expressions. 

“I never want to stop feeling the way that I do when I’m with you,” Eddie whispered. “I’m falling in love with you Evan Buckley. More and more everyday.”

Buck smiled at the man in front of him like an idiot, “You make me so happy.”

Eddie lifted their interlaced fingers up to his mouth and pressed slow, soft kisses to each of Buck’s knuckles. In all honesty, this was even more intimate than the passionate make-out session that took place between the two men earlier. They weren’t just in love with the idea of each other. They  _ saw _ each other for what they were and still loved each other unapologetically.

If they fell into a tangle of lips and limbs later that night, that was just for them to know.

-

Buck and Eddie were running late the next morning. They may have spent a little too much time snuggling into each other and not enough time getting ready for work. That’s how they found themselves running up the station’s stairs, haphazardly buttoning their uniforms, laughing at each other along the way. They squeezed into their seats at the dining table just as Bobby began to plate breakfast. 

“Glad to see you two kissed and made up,” Bobby commented, not knowing just how true that statement was. The two men shared a smirk with each other. 

The firefighters all began to dig into the eggs and bacon in front of them, eager to eat something before the first alarm of the day went off. However, as Buck shoveled food into his mouth, he could feel the heat of a stare boring into him. 

He looked up to only be met with none other than Hen’s eyes practically popping out of her skull. He arched an eyebrow in her direction, as if to ask,  _ Are you okay? _

She raised her eyebrows suggestively in response, making a gesture to her neck. It wasn’t until she mouthed the words,  _ I can see your hickey _ , that he knew what she was talking about. 

He instantly felt a blush creep up his neck and onto his face. He quickly adjusted his collar in an effort to hide Eddie’s success of staking a claim. 

He looked back up to see her mouth,  _ Good for you,  _ and send a little wink in his direction. Whether or not she knew it was the man seated next to him that gave him that marking, he wasn’t sure. But there was no time to dwell on it, as the alarms blared, signally the start of a new day. 

Eddie snuck a brief kiss to his cheek as they raced to put their respective gear on. It was just a little gesture to remind each other that they had something. Something together. Something to go home to at the end of the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr!
> 
> @118hasmyback


End file.
